Friday, February 09, 2007
What actually makes the difference?
today was a day packed with alotta stuff..
well lemme start from morning..
had my last paper today which was electrical technology.
it was very very very easy. lol.
after that in the afternoon.. there was the release of O lvl results and
ncc training..
hmm.. the secs 1s are alright but i tink some where in their head they've gt a attitude problem.. lol.. their kinda rude and dont even respect the seniors that much..
argh..
i cant tink..
som many things happened..
my head feels like its gonna explode cause of overload..
everything that i'm tryin to tink of now is jsut blank..
nvm..
anyways.. i just wanna congratulate those who did fairly well in their O lvls and hope they dont give up cause they didnt do as well as they wanted or they didnt live up to their parents expectations.
persevere.
i have.
why cant u?
from next ncc training onwards i guess i'm gonna be more strict with the sec 1s.
i dislike being looked upon as a person who can easily be stepped on.
there's always still the darker side of me that my guess is many dont want to see.
some people have seen it before and they know how "evil" i can become..
so here's a warning to the specs reading my blog.. you all better teach and control the sec 1s well.
thats if i'm going back again..
Goodnight
7:22 AM
You're in myworld now!
.Zach.is.back.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
return of the reds.
rawr. clement gt the red ipod! lols.
hi everyone. great start to my blog entry right?
lols.
yay! one more paper to hols!
O lvl results out this friday too.. haha
rawr.
i'm just bored...
had the weirdest dream lols.
dreamt of someone.
someone that i will not mention.
lols.
oOoOo the tension.
lols =D
6:11 AM
You're in myworld now!
.Zach.is.back.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
i wanna get carried away..
i wanna be swept away by you..
O lord..
i guess someday we'll know
what the wind says when she cries..
someday we'll know why was the sky blue..
someday we'l know..
thats why i need you here..
O lord...
please give me faith to carry on with this world..
the strong wind blew and the pages were flipped to april 9th.. and it read that faith is the antisepic of the soul..
what i really need now is a day where there is no disturbance and i can just lay in your arms and rest.. i'm really drained in my mind and soul.. and body..
john 3:16.. where it all started
2:59 AM
You're in myworld now!
.Zach.is.back.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
finally.. i can blog again..
i'm back by popular demand?
lols.
Spenser this time i'll write a whole lotta things alright?
okays. lets start.
its been weeks since i've time to blog and i tink my blog is getting stale lols. no one except some people tags my blog anymore. but nevermind this will still be the blog where i'll pour out everything i did..
i've been kinda busy these few weeks.. with wat? i dont know..
firstly i was maple.. really wanted to lvl fast but it gt stale after a while.. and my paper is in about 24 hrs time and i mapled today.. how bad is that?
am i addicted to it? guess not since i'm stopping.
met a nice person there. her name is seow wen. hope i spelled it correctly haha.. she's my SECOND online gf(those kind of play play one la.. dont anyhow think).. my first was in RO.. and she's still playing.. lols.. anyway.. ya.. i wanted to follow glenn and outreach lols.. so when i asked her out of the blue was she a christian.. guess what her answer was.
it was a YES.. lols.. i dont know if it was a failure but at least i tried.. i think she was the first ever person i asked this question so boldy.. anyways.. we chatted more and i found out that she stayed near my old place in serangoon and the most amazing thing is that she used to go to PLMC. how cool is that? but she left and went to trinity methodist at serangoon gardens instead.. oh well.. at least i tired =)
next.. school.. i've been struggling to get up for lessons due to mapling in the night.. hmm guess i am a lil bit addicted.. but.. thats not the point here.. i missed most of the revision lessons due to waking up late and i just keep telling my mom,whose tryin to find another job now, that i dont have school.. sometimes i really dont want her to bug me.. but at times i wish she did..
another thing is NCC.. we've gt new cadets in this year and everyone is feeling all depressed and down.. danny is gonna transfer school.. xin hong, winston,walter and wai yu cant make it due to school.. xin ying would be finishing her term.. 5 years is long.. shamsul is about to go for ITP.. and that leaves with me fadhil and hafiz.. so.. being the most senior there.. i've to take over almost all operations.. i guess its time to prepare.. but where do i start?
lastly.. my personal life..
its been kinda difficult without someone whom i can share with anymore..
i know those people reading this would be like hey there's me..
but its not that i dont trust you.. its just that.. i need some one i'm used to talking with..
no offence guys and gals..
i'm like stuck high and dry and no where to turn to..
my future is bliss..
i dont know what i really want to be.. whether my course would give me a satisfying job..
am i just thinking too much?
i've been praying alot these few days.. but i havent touched on the Word in a long time..
to tell you the truth.. in all the years as far as i can remember.. i never read the bible from cover to cover.. and i feel kinda ashamed about it.. calling myself a christian and not reading the bible.. the most impt book.. after all these years am i still a so called 'sunday christian'?
i dont know..
argh.
sometimes i wish knew sometimes how i felt inside..
behind this mask..
who i trully am..
who i was..
i tink i'm in a dilemia/dilema, forgot how to spell, of finding out who i am and what is it that i'm doing wrong with my life..
sure i can have fun and stuff but i cant find the satisfaction in doing the stuff i do..
are my standards too high? or issit cause i'm too open?
or do i mix around with girls too much? i dont know.. and frankly at times i dont care..
maybe thats why..
but all in all..
i do love God..
but i just dont know what to do and i'm still waiting for something to happen..
lastly.. love life.. guess this is what everyone has been waiting for yeah?
rumors have been going around in church that i like moo right? well.. its a no.
not definite no but just no.
we're just friends..
i'm stuck in a 3 to 4 way situation here and i dont know why..
after all these years i still cant differentiate wats love and wats infatuation..
i really feel kinda dumb.. ( is it cause i'm still too simple minded at times? )
Shoutouts:
Faith dont worry.. bad things will always be followed by good things ( thats what i believe in)
Moo: happy advanced birthday to you. have fun growing old(er).
Bird: Dont put on a sad mask pls.. hate people to look sad..
Raina: hope you're recovering =)
Danny: have fun in VSS..
Kelvin: hope you'd work hard in school.. dont feel neglected in anyway.. any problem can find us.. i know you dont know my blog but i'll just type this cause i feel that you really need help..
Glenn: Thanks for creating the cell blog.. i tink that when you love someone( not the relationship kind) just spending time saying Hi and catching with them would actually be able to make someone's day. I do hope you would be able to cope with your internship and everything. Take Care Bro.
To Everyone: If you want to leave a comment, you can but i may not reply it.. and i do hope that you all have fun in ur life.. cause like my link says.. its just life. there are two meanings towards it and i do hope you people would understand it in times to come.
Goodnight all ^^
gt a flight in the morning.
SYFC i did not mean any harm.
sorry..
8:20 AM
You're in myworld now!
.Zach.is.back.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
its been a long long while..
its been a long time since i blogged.
well nothing much to blog about.
lols.
except that i've gt a great group of new padawans. lols.
not exactly mine la but still counted la.
hope they will walk the long road together =)
sorry drey i now then blog.
oh yeah.
bbq-ing in the rain was the best. lols.
7:29 AM
You're in myworld now!
.Zach.is.back.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
a new year a new start?
heys its the new year!
time for the resolutions:
-NONE-
i dunno wat to type about.. either that i've gt like too many to lists..
everyone's moving on but me..
i'm still stuck in the yesteryear of my own..
haha..
what am i talking about...
today service was good..
guess its time to let everything go and move on..
but i'm just waiting for something which i dont quite pin point..
about relationship?about school? about church? about frens?
i dont know..
i just know that i'm suppose to wait for something..
but i dont know wat..
anyways.. i tink i gotta quit my job soon..
SYFC gonna take up loads of my time..
so ya..
gonna miss working..
hmm.. i dunno wat else to type now..
but somehow i'm feeling kinda sad inside la..
i know why la.. but i dunno why i should feel sad about it.. so ya..
GOODNIGHT EVERYONE!
GOD BLESS!
8:59 AM
You're in myworld now!
.Zach.is.back.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
o yeah.. two more things i didnt add... i may be banned from going to church already so yeah..
so i guess i may not be able to see you all again.
and secondly... not even my parents know anything about me.. trust me..
8:37 AM
You're in myworld now!
.Zach.is.back.
well.. maybe sometimes..
hi everyone its been a long time since i posted an entry..
sorry that i've to allow you to wait sooooooooo long.
well.. been kinda busy for the pass few days with lotsa stuff especially work..
but heck i aint gonna blog about it..
what i want to blog about now is what happened today on the 24th of december 2006..
today morning started off kinda rush cause i woke up kinda late..
service was alright but being tired my mind drifted off..
the girls singing was so soothing that i tink if i was in bed it would have put me to sleep immediately..
after service went around to wish people merry christmas eve..
okay.. it just reached 12 MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
after that we went for lunch...
then we went to play lan..
now there's where i did something bad..
well.. initially i told my mom that i'm going for the night service..
well.. after playing lan for say about 5 hrs..
glenn decided not to go and so did japheth and bird..
so being follower.. i just follow them lo.. without thinking of the consequences...
so we continued to play on till 9+ which then i left and took a cab home..
well when i reached home..
i cooked up a story that i was listening during the service and i didnt know who led worship and blah blah blah..
so my mom questioned alot of stuff and in the end i just said that after worship i just left and went downstairs to talk with japheth and bird..(sorry to have used ur names guys and gals..)
well.. about 30 mins later she came back and ask why i decieved them and asked whether i knew it was wrong and why didnt i apologise and all that stuff...
there's one simple reason why i chose what i chose..
well.. cause i didnt wan to anger her.. and i tot i could smoke through it..
well.. in the end she gt angry anyway.. and i really hate it when she's angry..
whether i tell the truth or not she'll still get angry for no apparent reason..
to those who knows about it you should know how i feel..
there are times when i seriously wanna just hit something..
but oh wells.. i'm still learning to control myself so ya...
there are so many things that i want to do but still cant..
argh.. there are so many things i do that i tot could be for the better..
guess i was wrong..
well.. merry christmas is suppose to be happy and i will just have to try and be i guess.
whats the worst thing is that she said that dont you know that it is a sin..
hello.. of course i know its a sin..
i just read a verse today..
if a person sins forgive the person,
if on the same day a person sins 7 times forgive him 7 times.
i know i'm in the wrong..
but at times you just dont have to go that far right?
well.. people who read this just know that i'm going through hard times and try not to go to my family matters lest i wanna share it with ya..
there are lotsa stuff people dont know about me..
but i guess only time will tell its secrets..
i do wish u all a merry christmas and a happy new year..
goodnights..
7:58 AM
You're in myworld now!
.Zach.is.back.